Listen to your wife
This article is not about marriage; it is about avoiding wasting time.
Note: I used the word wife in the article because I have a wife, but it can be another person in your life – see the criteria in the Tools section below.
I have saved days of work by asking and listening to my wife
Yesterday I had a new business idea, something that would make the world a better place and for which I have all the resources I need. I researched the concept for at least 6 hours, started a business model, the selling points, prices and how to make it happen.
Then I talked with Anya, my wife, about it. She listened, but I could tell that something was wrong, and at the end said: “This is so far from who you are, you’ll get bored very fast, and it will not make you happy” (this is a summary of a longer and deeper chat).
To which I asked, “What is me? What makes me happy?” The answer was in the lines of: “You love to do things more efficiently, you love to help and talk with people, and also you are all about work-life balance.”
She sees me from outside but knows me on the inside
Instead of wasting more time on this projects, I am happy to have asked her first, and get a truthful answer. Now I can focus my energy and thoughts on what brings me joy: helping busy people organise their time at work and life.
That’s me. Who knows what your wife has to say? Time to ask her.
All my articles will now have a THT (Tools, Habits, Tasks) section, to help to implement the first steps and create habits when needed. This article is a little different from what I had in mind for the THT method. My wife is classified as a tool, which feels strange but at the same time, I find it funny. Please, take it in that light.
You need to setup enough time with someone who knows you very well, who wishes you happiness, who can tell you hard things without being banished from your life. For me, it’s my wife Anya.
Any new idea that gets more than 4 hours of your time, share with your wife. She will not judge the idea, but its compatibility with the man she loves.
Ask your wife: “What makes me happy?” and “When was I happy last time?” It has profound effects on the direction your life and work will take.
"A wife is a man's longer term project. Care about her judgement." - Frank Contrepois
Have a great day, have a great life
PS: For the curious ones, the idea I wasted 6 hours on was a magazine to connect startup founders of the islands in the Indian Ocean so that founders don’t see each other as competition, but a part of a bigger picture. Reunion can have the prestigious “Made in France” while Mauritius has the upper-class tourists who want to buy such products. Contact me if you want to create something equivalent, I’m happy to share my content.