Bonjour, today I want to share some tips to overcome the main frustrations of being shy.
Shyness is a feature of my character and probably yours if you are reading. By being shy we often do not express our ideas, often resulting in frustration of the idea being ‘stolen’ by someone else. It can be even more frustrating when we have the courage to express ideas, but we don’t use the right strength (aka being assertive), resulting in being ignored. In this post I’ll share some tips that are helping me every day.
Being shy is like having a curtain in front of my brain.Frank Contrepois
Don’t say sorry
Don’t say sorry. Instead use one of two options:
- Behaving naturally. e.g. when you are late to work, just say ‘good morning’ to everyone as you do when you are on time
- Using the opportunity to thank people. e.g. when you are late to a conf call, say ‘thank you for your patience’.
- A deep dive on this topic is available here
Never say ‘but’ when receiving negative feedback
Never say ‘but’ when receiving negative feedback, do not look for an excuse. Accept the feedback as a way to improve and then list the actions you are going to take in order to prevent it from happening in the future.
Do not hide your weak points, but find some good aspects about them
Do not hide your weak points. Specially during interviews. ‘flip the coin‘ and find some good aspects about them.
Test with your close friends and family
Prepare important conversations with people who are on your side. e.g. friend, family or a mentor.
Practice speaking at a normal/slow pace
One of the biggest fear of everyone (it’s the number 2 fear) is public speaking. Learn and practice speaking at a normal/slow pace and rehearse a lot.
After a public talk, celebrate, you have more courage than most people.
Have a great day, have a great life
Share your discoveriesDo you know other ways to help shy people to better communicate? Write a comment
Thank you to Ricardo who provided the idea for this post and some of the wording.